I just found out I'm pregnant.

Maybe you’re shocked. Maybe you’ve been hoping. Maybe you’re unsure how to feel at all. However you arrived at this moment — staring down a plus sign, a blinking “pregnant,” a digital test, a clinic result — it’s valid. And it’s yours.

Finding out you’re pregnant can bring a flood of emotions: joy, anxiety, fear, excitement, disbelief, gratitude, grief — or some complicated blend of them all.

There’s no single “right” reaction, and no one timeline for processing it. You don’t have to feel ready right away. You don’t have to have it all figured out.

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What's going to change?

Short answer: a lot. But not all at once.

In the early weeks, the most noticeable changes might be internal — hormones shifting, fatigue setting in, nausea coming and going, emotions too... You might start to feel physically different, or you might feel exactly the same.

What changes — and when — can vary wildly from person to person, pregnancy to pregnancy. Some changes are physical (like increased blood volume, soreness, digestion shifts), while others are social, emotional, or even spiritual. You may already feel more protective of your time or privacy. You might be questioning things you once felt certain about.

You may feel a quiet pressure to get ahead: to plan, to research, to “do pregnancy right.” But early pregnancy is also about listening — to your body, your instincts, your needs.

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When will I tell people?

Deciding when to tell others you’re pregnant can feel both personal and strategic — and sometimes emotionally loaded. There’s no universal answer.

Some people share right away — needing connection, joy, or support. Others wait until after the first trimester or specific tests. Some tell one person and hold off on the rest. You get to decide what makes you feel most grounded.

And if you don’t want to share at all right now — that’s completely valid too.

Food for Thought: You can try asking yourself: “Who feels like a soft place to land right now?” That might be the first person you tell. Or it might just be you, holding your news close a little while longer.

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Who will take care of me?

One of the first big decisions in pregnancy is choosing who will walk this path with you as your care provider. That choice might already seem clear — maybe you’ve been seeing the same OB-GYN or midwife for years. Or maybe you’re starting from scratch, unsure what kind of care even feels right.

The truth is, you deserve care that sees you — care that makes space for your questions, your values, your culture, your concerns. It’s okay to ask for more than clinical expertise alone. You’re allowed to want warmth. You’re entitled to safety. You’re are worthy of being understood.

This decision isn’t always simple. Sometimes insurance, geography, or limited options narrow the list — sometimes none of the options available to us completely fit our ideal. But to the extent that you do have a choice, it’s worth exploring. Interviews with midwives and OBs are common — and you can absolutely switch providers if the fit doesn’t feel right.

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‍What will prenatal care be like?

Prenatal visits usually start off every 4 weeks, and then get more frequent as the estimated due date approaches. They may be quick and clinical, or they may be spacious and conversational — it depends on your provider and care model (so keep that in mind when you choose!).

At each visit, your provider (or someone on their staff) may check your blood pressure, listen to the baby’s heartbeat, measure your belly, and talk with you about how you’re feeling.

These appointments are opportunities to physically check-in, but they’re also for you to bring up questions. To share changes. To talk about things you’ve read or wondered about.

If something feels rushed or unclear, it’s okay to slow it down or ask again. This isn’t just a check on a checklist, it’s your care.

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Seeing my baby on ultrasounds.

Ultrasounds are one way providers can gather visual information about the baby’s development and position. But for many people they also mark significant moments — hearing a heartbeat, seeing movement, learning about the baby’s anatomy or sex.

Some people have one or two scans total — others have them more often due to specific care needs — and some choose to have none.

The most common ones are: a dating scan, usually around 6–9 weeks to estimate due date and confirm early development; an anatomy scan, ~18–22 weeks, to assess baby’s growth, development, and organ structures; and a growth scan, third trimester, if elected, to monitor baby’s size, position, and overall well-being.

It’s okay if ultrasounds bring up mixed feelings — especially if you’ve had past loss, fertility struggles, or medical trauma. You can ask about what’s being looked at, request quiet or explanation, or even decline certain scans if they don’t align with your values.

Food for Thought: Ultrasounds are often positioned as purely medical, but they’re also deeply emotional. Give yourself permission to feel whatever comes up — and ask your provider to walk you through what they’re seeing if you want more connection or clarity.

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Do I want a gender reveal?

This question comes up for many expecting parents — and it often holds more layers than people first expect.

What many people call a “gender reveal” is really about revealing sex — the biological characteristics observed on an ultrasound or at birth. But gender is something different. It’s personal, lived, and experienced over time. It’s shaped by culture, expression, and self-discovery — and isn’t always defined by anatomy alone.

You can hold both truths at once: you can want to celebrate and share this new life and recognize that your child’s full identity may unfold in their own time. Many parents are reimagining how they mark this moment — centering joy and connection, while also honoring complexity and growth.

If you choose to have a reveal, you get to shape what it looks like. Think about what kind of space you’re creating — and how it might make room not just for who your baby is now, but for who they may become.

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Opting in and out of prenatal testing.

Prenatal testing includes a wide range of screenings that check on you and your baby’s health. Some tests are standard (like bloodwork or a glucose test), while others — like genetic or chromosomal screenings — are optional.

These tests can offer valuable information, but they can also raise complex questions. What do you want to know? What would you do with certain information? Would knowing early bring you peace, or anxiety?

Some tests are about planning and preparedness. Others can be inconclusive or leave you in limbo. It’s okay to ask for time before deciding. It’s okay to say yes. It’s okay to say no.

Food for Thought: Before any test, ask: What is this for? What could it tell me — and what happens next depending on the result?

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The estimated due date countdown.

The truth about due dates? They’re estimates, not expiration dates. Only about 5% of people give birth on their actual estimated due date. It’s completely normal for labor to begin one or even two weeks after that date, especially for first-time pregnancies. The countdown can feel intense, but it’s helpful to think of your due window, not just your due day. Induction is an option that comes with both benefits and risks — it’s a decision best made in partnership with your care team, based on your body, your baby, and your values.

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