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Can I use my vibrator during pregnancy? And Other Pregnancy Sex Questions Answered

Your sex questions answered by a childbirth + sex + period educator.
by 
Makina Table
photo credit:  
Can having sex while I’m pregnant hurt my baby?

The Short/Long Answer: NO. Your baby has quite a few protective factors working in their favor: the amniotic fluid which surrounds baby inside the placenta acts as a shock absorber while they’re in utero; for the majority of a pregnancy, baby is positioned relatively high in the uterus with quite a bit of distance between them and the cervix; and lastly, most bodily apendadges that we typically use for sex can’t reach beyond the length of the vaginal canal, keeping the cervix in its uterus-guarding position.

The Long/Short Answer: If you’ve experienced preterm labor or placental complications, you should talk with your healthcare provider about the safest ways to get it on.  

What positions are good for sex while pregnant?

For most pregnant people, back-laying positions tend to be the most uncomfortable, especially as they get later in their pregnancy. Better positions would be ones where the pregnant person is side lying, on all fours, or sitting upright. Get creative and use pillows (under your belly or back or wherever) to add comfort to any position!

Can I use my vibrator during pregnancy?

Yes. Please. I often tell my clients to pack their vibrator in their hospital bag because in addition to creating more pleasure, vibrators can be a great tool to use for labor progression once labor has begun.  

Can having sex induce my labor too soon?

It can, but usually only if your body is ready for delivery. In general, sex helps along processes that are already at work. For this reason, sex can be a great tool late in the third trimester and beyond because orgasms trigger the release of oxytocin which helps the uterus to contract. If the non-pregnant partner releases semen, the semen contains prostaglandins that can help to soften, or ripen, the cervix during labor.

Is it normal for me to want more sex while I’m pregnant?

Sexual desire and motivation (also called your sex drive) can fluctuate significantly during your pregnancy — and your life, quite frankly. During pregnancy, increases and shifts in hormone levels can affect how frisky you feel. There are also external factors that can influence your sex drive such as your connection with a partner. If you’re feeling like you want more sex, talk with your partner about how you can both embrace your new normal :)

What if I don’t want as much sex during pregnancy but my partner does?

Communication is the cornerstone of any healthy sexual relationship, so if you aren’t feeling it, let your partner know. They might not understand the ways in which your body’s changes are affecting your sexual desires and motivations (or energy levels!). This can be a great exercise in exploring different ways that you both experience pleasure--which are great conversations to have in advance of life with a new baby!

Makina Table | she/her/hers | @florafaunadoula

Makina Table (she/her) is a childbirth doula, educator, and public health professional. She is a proud alum of Howard University and earned a Master’s degree in Public Health from George Washington University. Makina is based in Atlanta, GA and is a member of the Black Mamas Matter Alliance.

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